Why I Don’t Like the Term #GirlBoss

We’ve all heard about the hashtag #girlboss. It’s all over instagram and was made popular by Sophia Amoruso, the controversial CEO and founder of Nasty Gal (an online vintage clothing store). Her book, #girlboss, sparked this online hashtag and movement. While intended for a positive purpose, #girlboss is only inclusive of one type of woman, leaving out a good amount of women who make this world go round.

Girlboss: A confident, capable woman who pursues her own ambitions instead of working for others or otherwise settling in life.

I’ve used the hashtag numerous times on instagram posts, but it wasn’t until this week that it really started to bug me. I couldn’t figure out why at first. I’m only 22, I own my own business, I do what I love every day… so why do I not feel like a #girlboss.  That’s when I realized just why #girlboss had been on nerves.

When Steven and I got married, I told him that I could never be a housewife. Not because I saw anything wrong with it, but because I LOVE what I do. I really truly enjoy working and wanted him to know that I was not going to give that up. Well, this past week, we’ve been joking that I’ve fully embraced being a housewife. The truth is, I’m in my slow season at work and Steven is in his busy season. He’s working 12-16 hours a day, meaning I’m spending some more time at home just to make sure the house stays clean, laundry stays done, and there’s food in the fridge. It also means that he is working nights and I’m not quite sure what to do after work. (I may be binge watching Law & Order and baking A LOT…) Steven is super supportive of whatever I want to do, but also is loving joking about how the tables have turned.

After all this joking, I really started thinking about my #girlboss status… In all honesty, I felt like because I wasn’t working on something regarding my business, I had lost my #girlboss title. Insecure me thought that I was losing everything I had worked so hard for because I was spending a good chunk of time supporting my husband and doing chores. I mean… you never see anyone saying #proudhousewife #Ilovelaundry #Dishesarethebest. It’s just not as glamorous as owning your own company.

But, if this past week has taught me anything, it’s that being at home is HARD WORK. We don’t have kids yet, but keeping the bills paid, laundry done, dinner cooked, and the house clean is not an easy task when you also work. (I kept finding myself breaking a sweat from all the vacuuming.) In all honesty, sitting at my desk with my coffee seemed like a dream in those moments. So what I’m wondering, is why we only glorify women who run their own companies? Why don’t we give props to all of the moms and wives who support their husband’s companies or careers, the women who work 2 jobs, are single moms, are nurses or doctors or police officers, who put their dreams aside and their family first?

I’m tired of feeling like putting my family first is me “settling”. I’m tired of feeling guilty for it. I’m all for women being successful and following their dreams, but why do I feel guilt when I choose to put my family or my marriage first?

I don’t have an answer or idea of how to change this… but I did want to let other women know that they’re not alone in feeling this way. Just because you don’t own your own company or make millions, doesn’t mean that you’re any less of a boss at whatever you choose to do.  We all have a purpose in life and for some people it’s being a mom or a housewife. For some it’s being a teacher or a nurse. For some it IS running that multi million dollar company like a BOSS. Whatever it is, know that you’re a strong and powerful woman and I commend you for doing what you feel called to do, no matter how much money you make, how many people you employ or don’t employ, or how glamorous the job is. You serve a unique purpose and I think that’s pretty boss.

With Love,

Madeline

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